i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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