U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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