I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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