Buhtt sex?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
