no, he came in my armpit
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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