On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
