My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
