super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
