Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
