Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
