she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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