my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
