break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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