I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
