I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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