Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
