you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
