youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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