my mouth tastes like poor choices
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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