Swine flu. Run for my life!
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
