She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
