Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
