Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We have started to decorate penises.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
