people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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