he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
