If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
