Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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