At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you inspire me to be a worse person
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize