I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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