East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
