He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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