we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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