i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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