I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
