I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
