I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
