the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
