I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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