you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
