the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
