Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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