I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
