hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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