I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
