I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize