Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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