I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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