my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
