mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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