Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
