Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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