Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
