went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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