how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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