Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
