Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
